How to Talk to Your Children (and Grandchildren) About Your Estate Plan — Without the Awkwardness
Most parents want to make things easier for their kids, not harder. But when it comes to estate planning, a lot of families avoid the conversation altogether.
Sometimes it’s because older adults don’t feel comfortable bringing up money or end-of-life decisions. Other times, adult children worry they’ll seem pushy or out of line if they ask too much. So, the topic gets quietly shelved, and no one really knows where things stand.
The result? Families often find themselves navigating tough moments with little guidance and a lot of guesswork.
It doesn’t have to be that way. A simple, honest conversation now, even if it’s just the basics, can save everyone a great deal of stress down the road. You don’t have to share every financial detail. What matters most is that your loved ones understand your wishes, what matters to you, and the steps they might need to take when the time comes.
It’s not always an easy talk, but it’s one of the most meaningful gifts you can give.
Why this conversation matters
An estate plan isn’t just a stack of legal documents; it’s something much more personal. It’s a way of looking out for your family when you’re no longer able to do so in-person. But if your kids or grandkids don’t know what’s in the plan (or what you intended), it can create more stress than peace.
They might end up:
- Digging through drawers or inboxes trying to find the right paperwork
- Misunderstanding the choices you made or assuming things you never meant
- Arguing over medical decisions no one ever talked about
- Getting stuck in a probate process that drags on longer than it should
- Being pulled into court simply because the details weren’t clear
- Feeling unsure about what to do, or who’s supposed to do what
A quiet conversation now can make all the difference. You don’t have to share every number or legal term. Just let them know what matters to you, what you’ve put in place, and where to find what they’ll need when the time comes.
It’s not always easy. But it’s one of the kindest things you can do for the people you love.
How to make the conversation comfortable
Talking about estate planning doesn’t have to feel morbid or dramatic. These approaches are often successful:
- Choose a calm moment, not a crisis – Family dinners, holidays, or quiet afternoons work better than medical emergencies or stressful events.
- Use a positive frame – Explain that the conversation is about protecting your family and making things easier — not about illness or fear.
- Keep it simple and short – This doesn’t have to be a marathon discussion. You can always revisit it later.
- Offer practical next steps – Let your children know you are working with a trusted law firm, and encourage them to ask questions if they ever feel uncertain.
Talk to a Virginia Beach, VA, Estate Planning Attorney Today
The Law Office of Angela N. Manz represents the interests of Virginia Beach residents who need to create an estate plan. Call our Virginia Beach estate planning lawyers today to schedule an appointment, and we can begin discussing your next steps right away.